Reassurance
by AngelMouse5
Summary: TAG - short peice for the end of the episode Long Haul. Alan does some thinking and has a little chat with a big brother...


_Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were. Loving the new series, it is faithful to the classic series and also brings such life to the characters. Anyways, this is a little thought I had after watching the episode Long Haul. Just something about the way Alan said he could imagine the pressure. Here's a little scene that I thought of that would happen when he got home. Once again, for effect, I use Australian English and my work is spell checked. AM Nov, 17._

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 **Reassurance**

 **by Angel Mouse5**

Alan had returned home after making sure the Hub repairs were well underway and that the site was now secure. Scott had already returned Conrad home and he was feeling a bit drained as he finished the post flight checks on Thunderbird 3. He was going to take Conrad back in two days time, so that he had time to spend with his family, and Alan would also do a supply run to Thunderbird 5 at the same time. Shutting down everything, except the automatic refuelling, he changed into his normal clothes as he headed back to the lounge room.

It was late when he had arrived home, so he wasn't surprised to find Scott waiting for him, everyone else having retired for the night, although he was pretty sure Virgil would be painting or something, since he was so wired about going into space. Scott never retired to bed if one of his brothers was out on a mission; he stayed until he was sure everyone was home, safe and sound.

"Hey Alan, how'd it all go?" Alan smiled at his eldest brother.

"It's all really good up there now, the GDF and Space Control have all the repairs under control and the GDF said if we send them the details, they'll organise a replacement coolant unit since we used our own personal spare." Scott raised an eyebrow at this and then nodded.

"Great, I'll send the details through to Colonel Casey in the morning. How are you feeling?" Alan flopped down into the chair, smiling at the overprotective big brother streak coming out.

"I'm good, a bit tired. Think I'm going to watch some television for a little bit to wind down before bed." Scott stood and clapped him on the shoulder as he walked passed.

"You did well today Alan, I'm proud of you. I'll see you in the morning. Night." With that, Scott headed to his bed. Alan watched him go, disbelief on his face for a moment. Praise from Scott was rare, especially for the youngest. He felt pleased; he finally was feeling like a real part of the organisation, especially since Scott was giving him more and more responsibility lately. His train for thought was broken suddenly by a soft voice.

"He's right you know, you did really well today Alan." He looked up, startled, to see John watching him via hologram.

"Reading my mind John, again?" John gave a soft laugh. The second eldest Tracy always seemed to know what his brothers needed to hear.

"Nope, don't need to. Just know that sometimes a bit of praise from a big brother, especially Scott, goes a long way." Alan just nodded, looking at where Scott had departed. He gave a soft sigh and looked at John, before glancing away. "What Conrad said today, that really got to you, didn't it." Alan looked at him, to see John looking at him, as if staring right through him, seeing his very soul.

"Huh? How did you know what... oh right, yeah?" Alan had forgotten for a moment that John monitored everything during a mission. "Yeah... it kind of did, a little bit."

"You know it's no competition between us all, right? We're all equally good at different things. There's something's that Scott's better at than Virgil or Gordon, or Virgil's better at than Scott or me... we're all different Alan." John looked at Alan, could see the confusion and the little bit of guilt in his eyes. He was halfway believing that there as that pressure to outdo each of his brothers. "Alan? What's wrong?" Alan sighed; John always seemed to know how to get to the heart of things.

"When he said that he felt that pressure, because of his family, well, I could relate." John just waited for him to continue. Alan slumped down even further in his chair. "I mean, look at the four of you. A bigger bunch of overachievers I've yet to come across. Scott was an Air Force test pilot, won heaps of awards and is running Tracy Enterprises. Virgil's an Engineer and such a gifted artist. Gordon's a former Aquanaut with WASP, an Olympic Gold Medallist. And you..." Alan looked up, looking at his older brother. "The smartest of us all, you've got umpteen doctorates and degrees, speak that many languages and you've invented an AI... And you're an astronaut to boot. Me? What chance do I have competing against any of you?"

John sighed, looking at his baby brother. This would take some time to get through to his baby brother, but it was worth the effort.

"True, we may have all of that. But look at your own accomplishments Alan. You've almost completed your own degree; you're a qualified Astronaut as well. And don't think I don't know about the racing you did while you were in college, I have all the races on tape to by the way, so don't sell yourself short. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses." Alan didn't really want to believe what John was saying so he just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Oh yeah? What's yours then oh wise one?" John laughed softly, knowing that only the straight out honest truth was going to work here.

"Gravity is the main one. But we all have them Alan." John sobered up. "Mine is I can't let go. I can't let go of the past, of what's happened to everyone in our family, of how much it affects me every single day of my life. How much I want to say to Mum see, that's your star there. Or to Dad, that his Mars dreams are slowly coming true. Or to Granddad how much I miss being able to sit and talk with him about the farm and our family's history." John's eyes had clouded over with sorrow and loss. "Of how I see Mum's face every single time I close my eyes when I'm lonely. I can't let go of that pain. But I don't let it beat me up; I let it make me stronger." John leaned forward and looked at Alan. "You have so much potential Alan, so much to give of yourself; it's scary to me sometimes how much you remind me of Mum, and Scott."

"Scott? And Mum?" John gave him a gentle smile.

"Yes. Both are risk takers, act most times without thinking and jump in with both feet if anyone of us is in trouble. So yeah, you are a lot like Scott. But thankfully, you've also got a lot of Virgil in you to. You do tend to slow down and think a little, and then there's the sense of humour you have gotten from Gordon. You're the best of all of us Alan, never forget that, okay? And if we've ever put pressure on you to be like us, well then, I think I speak for everyone when I say we're sorry. We, and I mean this Alan, we never wanted you to feel that way. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Alan sat there, pondering for a long moment, not seeing the shadow moving in the doorway or seeing Scott look out at his brother, an eyebrow raised at John. John just minutely shook his head at his big brother, knowing that he'd fill him in later on. Scott stayed silent, wisely. John was always better with ways of the heart and mind than he was anyways.

"Alan?" Alan sighed and looked up at John.

"Sorry John, I was just thinking over what you said. I know that there are some things I'll never be as good as you at, or the others, but then there are things that I can do that the others can't. I guess there is that."

"That's true. And never, ever feel that you have to compete with us okay? We're all different, unique but we're all individuals that make up an awesome family." John's words rang with the sincerest tone he could impart to his youngest brother, wishing fervently he was suddenly there to give him a hug.

"Okay... I know I shouldn't feel like I have to compete, it's just some days it feels like I'm a fifth wheel around here." At this John gave a soft laugh, and Alan jerked his head up, hurt on his features.

"If anyone's a fifth wheel around here Alan it's me. You've been on more rescues than I have, more adventures than I'll ever have and you have your feet firmly on the ground and so grounded so in touch with the real world that sometimes I envy you." This got Alan's attention.

"What? Envy me?" John just shrugged.

"I do. Sometimes I wish I had your confidence with people, with how you interact with them and how you put them at ease during a rescue. I could never do that Alan. I freak out if there are more than us around." This was true, given John's reactions during his little trip with Lady Penelope recently, which really threw him off balance, in more ways than one during that little adventure. Alan suddenly laughed and with that laugh, John knew he'd be fine.

"You know something John, I love you big brother." John's smile was wide and warm.

"Love you to little brother. You are going to be okay now?" Alan nodded.

"I'm going to be fine. Thanks for calling, and well, you know." John smiled.

"Anytime Alan, you know that." Alan stood up and yawned. He had a lot to think about and was tired.

"Thanks John. Good night." Alan left the room and Scott hid in the shadows, making sure he was gone before stepping out to talk to his little brother.

"You heard Scott?"

"Most of it John. He'll be okay, won't he?" John nodded, smiling.

"He'll be fine. He just needed a little extra reassurance from one of us that in a family of over achievers he was certainly amongst good company, and certainly worth his weight in gold." Scott raised an eyebrow.

"Over achievers huh?" John shrugged and grinned.

"What else would you call the five of us then?" Scott just laughed, shaking his head. Pleased that John had helped the baby of the family.

"True. You okay?" John smiled warmly at his big brother.

"Fine. Go to sleep Scott."

"Alright... mother hen." That got a laugh from them both and waving at his little brother, Scott headed for his bedroom. John cut the feed and glanced over at the stand next to his bed. On it were two cherished photos. One of his parents, and the other of the five brothers together just before International Rescue started.

"Yep, we are a bunch of over achievers." Laughing softly to himself, he got himself ready for bed. It had been a long day.


End file.
